from a cheap hotel room in a different state

As the list of dives grows ever longer with every passing weekend, it makes it all the more difficult to write sufficient reviews on a regular basis. My sincerest apologies.

Either way, we must press on.

Since moving to Oakland, I had a rather prejudiced view that the East Bay had nothing to offer in terms of dives or taverns. I was always under the impression that in order to get drunk and have a good time, one would have to hop on Bart and venture to the land of hipster co-mingling.

But I must say, this is not the case! Here are some recent examples:

The Avenue
48th and Telegraph

Oh, The Avenue. Seeing that The Avenue is about 2 blocks away from my house, it has become a home away from home of sorts. Before I moved to Oakland, my dear friend (and former neighbor) Megan informed me that her favorite local bar was Biggums. Due to an unfortunate fire (or other disastrous incident), Biggums closed down and is now condos (or something equally as ugly).
All the local barflies with an undying love for Biggums now seem to flock to The Avenue, making the crowd a little unpredictable, but I must say the bartenders are lovely lovely individuals. (Note: If a tall guy is bartending and doesn't have slicked back "greaser" style hair, do not order a vodka gimlet from him because he will give you a vodka gibson. It has happened twice.)
The Avenue is a great place to go with a group of friends, especially if you're into playing pool and/or guitar hero with drunk strangers.

The Red Sea
Claremont and Clarke

Every friend or relative that has ever visited me has asked me two questions when outside my apartment building.
"Oh man, have you ever been to the Kingfish?"
"Oo oo what about the Red Sea?"
Reason being, these two establishments are my next door neighbors and therefore would allow me to get unreasonably drunk any time of the day and stumble just the few steps home.
Unfortunately, due to some licensing issues, the Kingfish was shut down before I even moved in. The building looks like it belongs in the Lousiana bayou and I am anxiously awaiting the day it will be able to open its doors once again. The Red Sea (laser noises on the website, alright!) on the other hand, is almost always bustling with activity any night of the week. From what I can tell, it's a bar/lounge and adjoining Ethiopian restaurant. I've yet to try the food there, but I did make it over to the bar finally.

I believe it was a Friday night, my dear friend Sayaka and I were hanging out in my apartment probably drinking wine and being bored. We decided to venture across the street and check out this Red Sea joint, unsure what was on the other side of the barred glass door.
There were a few men standing outside in little pods, smoking cigarettes and speaking another language very rapidly. We politely smiled as we walked past them and opened the door, only to find maybe 20-30 other men fitting the exact same description as the pods of men outside. The only other women in the bar were the two bartenders, two very pretty girls about the same age as us who seemed completely unfazed by the situation they found themselves in.
"Is this a gentleman's lounge or something? Are we allowed to be here?"
We ordered our unbelievably strong drinks, a vodka tonic and a jack and coke, drank them pretty fast, and were on our way.
It was weird to say the least. I'm not sure I'd say that I'll never go back, but just be warned that the entire clientele are fast-talking, fairly drunk Ethiopian dudes.

Geo Kaye's
41st and Broadway

Geo Kaye's was one of the first bars I went to in Oakland. The first time I went there it left me with a lasting feeling that I had just gotten drunk with my grandpa. The whole place has a distinct aroma of Jim Beam and pretzels and the bartender, Tom, is one of the nicest old men I have ever met. The place itself is quite small and the hard drinks are even smaller but I feel like this place has oodles of potential. Because of the size of the place, I would recommend going there with just one, maybe two friends. Not the best place for a rowdy bunch of 20-somethings. Also, they just got a new jukebox, one of those computerized ones, but make sure you get your songs in before the nerdy douchebag who just put on the entire Counting Crows anthology.
If you're looking for a drink that your grandpa would've made or you feel like complaining about the economy with guys named "Tom" or "Larry" Geo Kaye's is the place for you.


Note: This will be installment number one of an ongoing "East Bay" series. Stay tuned!